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Ok you find yourself on a Dating / Introduction site… What is that saying to you?  Well to me it is screaming out that you are lonely! After 20 years as a Matchmaker I can tell you right now with complete authority it is incredibly hard to be alone.  Staring at the four walls every night, waking up every morning alone is just not the way it is supposed to be. Yes there are times when we need to just go it alone. We might need to find ourselves, get back our confidence or just heal. Yes that is OK. It is ok to  plant your feet on the ground and become steady within your own skin. 

Don’t Let this be your normal state! 

There is one thing getting your life on track and finding yourself, but it is another thing to get stuck in that rutt of thinking being alone is great ! There are thousands of statistics available that tell us being a part of a successful couple is healthy for us. We do  better health wise, we live longer and our happiness skyrockets ! (In the right relationship) This is something I need to make clear…. The wrong relationship can cripple and destroy you, so it is something we need to get right. There are incredible singles out there that just need to be found!  Are you one? What is holding you back? 

Most members of Country Dating have been there and done that and had a few knocks along the way. I know the under 25’s don’t usually think about joining an agency. So most have had a relationship or two fall over in a disastrous way. Some have grown apart some have exploded in spectacular event and some have just drifted away in the night. 

So let’s break this down a little.

Two people have just drifted apart. 

You know what…. It happens life gets so busy and life takes us in  so many directions. We might have kids and their numerous activities, work , hobbies, friends. All of these things want a piece of us. At the end of the day we fall into bed and the thought of being intimate just seems too hard. We can’t all be the same and share the same life path. We feel the other is holding us back because they don’t want to travel or share in your life. You start to resent each other without even knowing it. It’s not that you hate each other, neither of you have strayed (yet) or done something really terrible. You find you are just looking at your partner differently. (Trust me you are not the only one) This is when you need to seek help so you don’t end up on my doorstep. You need to find out if this person you loved enough to think you were going to spend the rest of your life with is worth making changes for. Are they willing to make changes for you?  

They are questions that you need to answer before you can move forward. They are questions we sometimes don’t want to hear the answer to because the pain that could potentially follow could be debilitating. But you know what? Having these questions answered will change your life. You can walk away. You can heal and then move on to the next chapter of your life. 

You just need to know and remember…. There was a reason you  fell in love with this person. That person is often still there underneath layers of work and stress and life. You might just need to find them again. You need to ask yourself  is worth trying to find that person again. In my eyes it is always a yes! Especially if there are children involved. Monkey see Monkey do. Everyone hopes their children will grow up to be healthy happy adults. It is your job to show them what a happy healthy relationship looks like. So don’t just think about your immediate satisfaction think about the big picture. ( A blog for another day) 

If you have grown apart. Either fix it or move on. When you move on try not to destroy each other along the way. Trying to get every cent out of the settlement. Be fair, don’t use your children as leverage  and remember it was just a chapter… Don’t let the spite and hate rule your next chapter. 

Most members of Country Dating have been there and done that and had a few knocks along the way. I know the under 25 don’t usually think about joining an agency. So most have had a relationship or two fall over in a disastrous way. So have grown apart some have exploded in spectacular event and some have just drifted away in the night. 

So let’s break this down a little.

Two people have just drifted apart. 

You know what…. It happens life gets so busy and life takes us in  so many directions. We might have kids and there numerous activities, work , hobbies, friends. All of these things want a piece of us. At the end of the day we fall into bed and the thought of being intimate just seems too hard. We can’t all be the same and share the same life path. We feel the other is holding us back because they don’t want to travel or share in your life. You start to resent each other without even knowing it. Its not that you hate each other, neither of you have strayed (yet) or done something really terrible. You find you are just looking at your partner differently. (Trust me you are not the only one) This is when you need to seek help so you don’t end up on my doorstep. You need to find out if this person you loved enough to think you were going to spend the rest of your life with is worth making changes for. Are they willing to make changes for you?  

They are questions that you need to answer before you can move forward. They are questions we sometimes don’t want to hear the answer to because the pain that could potentially follow could be debilitating. But you know what? Having these questions answered will change your life. You can walk away. You can heal and then move on to the next chapter of your life. 

You just need to know and remember…. There was a reason you  fell in love with this person. That person is often still there underneath layers of work and stress and life. You might just need to to find them again. You need to ask yourself of that it is worth trying to find that person again. In my eyes it is always a yes! Especially if there are children involved. Monkey see Monkey do. Everyone hopes there children will grow up to be healthy happy adults. It is your job to show them what a happy healthy relationship looks like. So don’t just think about your immediate satisfaction think about the big picture. ( A blog for another day) 

If you have grown apart. Either fix or move on. When you move on try not to destroy each other along the way trying to get every cent out of the settlement. Be fair, don’t use your children as leverage  and remember it was just a chapter… Don’t let the spite and hate rule your next chapter. 

Your Relationship Exploded in a Major Way !!!

Unfortunately this one is all too common. We have passed the growing apart section and neglected to do anything about it. It might be an affair it could be a massive argument where things are said that cannot be taken back.  You may have married a narcissist and it has hit you and everything just explodes. What do you do? Do you run and never look back?  Do you fall in a heap and blame yourself ?

If things cannot be forgiven you need to walk away. There is absolutely no reason for you to stay unless you want to make each other miserable.

Life is meant to be enjoyed and relished. You have the right to smile and be happy and no relationship will be perfect. Mankind are not perfect, there will be times when you wish life was not so hard. There will be times when you look at your relationship is getting you down. There will be times when you have to give your partner some slack. But you do deserve to be HAPPY !

 

You’re Relationship Drifts away.

Losing your partner to an accident, cancer or some other sad circumstance is in itself soul destroying. This is a journey that I hope I never need to take. I have been a part of helping hundreds of widows and widowers take that step back into life again.  Men especially don’t tend to do well on their own and move on a lot faster. It is not that their last relationship meant nothing. Not at all ! It just means they struggle to be alone. Unlike ladies they don’t sit around with their mates and talk about their feelings.  That is one advantage us ladies have. We are as a rule open books. We let it all poor out and that in turn makes it easier to move on and start a new life without their husband. Ladies tend to hold each other up making it more bearable to look at life alone. On average men take 12 months and woman take 3 to 5 years to move on to a life with another partner. There are always acceptations.

Sometimes life throws you a curve ball and you may be shocked that suddenly there is someone else in your life and you truly have not been looking. You just need to make sure you are ready for your next chapter. Everyone is different don’t let what everyone else thinks make your life decisions. Do what is right for you !

What is holding you Back?

This is the age old question and to tell you truth there really is only one answer !

Fear !!!!!!

In no way shape or form can you not have fear moving forward after losing love, being hurt, experiencing such heart ache. Fear is what stops us from being happy every single time. We go into self-defence mode because we try to protect ourselves from ever feeling that pain again.  We tell ourselves that we are better off alone.  Well in away yes you are! If you end up in the wrong relationship again you might as well be alone.

Why do we date? Well the simple answer is it is like trying on a pair of shoes. You need to know they are going to be a good fit. Just like a relationship, you need to know that you are going to be great as a couple. It needs to be fun, comfortable and exciting all at the same time. You need to date to make sure you are not making the same mistakes all over again.

Fear controls our life. Self-preservation dictates weather we leave out job or say something that maybe true but could have major ramifications. Fear is what holds us back from having an amazing life.  An amazing life that we all deserve, an amazing life that if we just said yes, could change our life path so significantly that we could not be more happy! If that what you want? I know that is what I want! I  know that is what I want for everyone around me that I care about.

Having a life partner in your life can bring happiness to your life that is hard to explain. When all you can remember is the hate, the pain, the feeling of desperation it is really hard to Imajin what a healthy loving relationship is like. It is hard to imagine what true passion can bring to your life.

You need to close your eyes and remember what a loving touch feels like.  You need to know there is someone out there looking for someone just like you. You need to remember you deserve love! You deserve someone in your life that will look at you and not see your floors and imperfections.

You also need to put the shoe on the other foot. No one is perfect by any stretch of the imagination. Don’t make the same mistakes as last time. Own the mistake you did make.

Country Dating can put amazing people in your path but we cannot create your dream relationship.

So what are you waiting for? 

Get ready to start your new life!

 Don’t let fear get in your way of being truly happy.

Stop with the self-pity.

Know that life is full of chapters.

There is a time for healing. Just don’t let it be forever!

Call today to find out how Country Dating can help you create a life and relationship you truly want.