You don’t usually need to think hard of a time someone did the wrong thing by you or tried to take advantage of you. Me being the trusting soul I am.  Unfortunately I have been down this rabbit hole a  few times… But that is great for you, because you can learn from my pain. Yep there was physical pain involved.

It was ten years ago and I had someone try and take me to the cleaners. I won’t mention any names but those close to me will know exactly who it was and what happened. Why? Because it consumed me. I was wild for years. Every chance I had, I told someone about what this person had done to me. I used to sit and plot how I would ruin this person’s life… If you know me you would absolutely not think this was in my nature at all!

You all know me as the generous soul that I love to be… But this was a really ugly stage in my life and I could not see this person was seriously winning. They were taking away my happiness. Sound familiar?

Often when there is a relationship breakdown it at times ends in a ball of flames. There are words of hatred flung around like cow manure there are vicious encounters and so much pain you just never know if it will ever end. If you have been blessed not have been in that situation you are one of the lucky ones.

There are couples that walk away and everything is amicable but I wonder what that percentage really is.

When we go through an experience of such hurt and pain we hold a grudge. I held on far to tightly and it seriously hurt me and I know that now. I also know moving forward in life that this person will never be successful in life because of they way they are. ( I must admit this makes me smile a little bit too much)

Let it go! 

This sounds like the hardest thing to do… Your Ex treated you like garbage, your previous employer ripped you off,  your best friend slept with your partner! Whatever it was. Get Mad! Get Wild! but let it go. Sure, if this person falls off a tall building and superman was not around to save the day. Have a glass of wine to celebrate.

Take a very deep breath and put one foot in front of the other. I’m not sure the word forgiveness comes to mind, but they are not worth your emotion. They are not worth your time, your energy or thoughts. Nursing that grudge is holding you back from happiness.


Emma left her husband of 10 years because he was sleeping with her best friend…. She has just lost two of the most important people in her life. I would say that was a bad day… Life has dealt Emma a pretty big blow. Emma could let the next two years of her life be consumed with hatred and spite… That’s two years waisted !

Emma Get Angry Get wild and let the world know you are too bloody good for them! Take a deep breath and put one foot in front of the other. Let them know you are strong and ready to take on the world and be happy.

Let’s say Emma got stuck in that Ugly place like I did… Let’s say an opportunity came along for something life changing and great that could potentially change everything.

Bad luck Emma you are in the wrong frame of mind, that ugliness that is consuming you has just chased that sensational opportunity of LOVE away. That grudge that Emma is nursing , that chip on her  shoulder has made her that unhappy that she is hard to be around. Unhappiness is a state you choose to be in. Yes I know shitty things happen that are beyond our control. I know there are shitty people out there that are put in our path.

I know I’m not very politically correct.  This I do not apologize for. But taking a deep breath and letting it go made such a major and life altering change in my life I just had to share.

You have got this. You are brave. If you need a hand moving forward reach out to a therapist. But really you are the only one that can do this. Happiness is a choice.

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Sarah Schmidt 

Country Dating Director 

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nursing a grudge is a major factor in unhappiness Sarah Schmidt